Disaster Date

I went out on a date this guy from one of my college classes. We were project group members & that is how we got to talking. I feel like the relationship talk started way too early it has really made me uncomfortable. I realize my pull away behavior is just making me more attractive because it's making him chase me. This is pretty much the opposite of what I want. I feel like I've tried to tell him I don't want a relationship. I'm okay with still being friendly when we see each other at school. But I don't need it to go any farther than what it is right now. I had brought up possibly going on a date and he agreed because seemed interested. I went on the date basically like not knowing what to expect. He was a chivalrous gentleman and paid for the date. Our date/hang out was at a small cafe near the school. I enjoyed talking to him very much also enjoyed his company. However, enjoying the company is different than having romantic feelings for another person. Maybe I am shallow? I always see him in class with his hat on and he never takes it off. He is 26 and severely balding underneath the hat! He is too young to be balding. How come he doesn't just shave it off? The other thing that I didn't like was that he was a smoker and it was yellowing his teeth badly. I really prefer to not date a smoker since I don't smoke myself. I think that is pretty fair and it is a big turn off for me. He is a huge Star Wars nerd and gamer neither those interest me that much. I feel like we have completely different interests when it comes down to it. Sure, I have watched Star Wars before like most people thought it was okay. But I'm not obsessed to the point where I have Star Wars movie tattoos. I don't think I can work with this ( no judgement on him personally). I think I'll pass on this on folks. He also told me that he spends two to three hours a day gaming. I think that is unwise since he isn't employed other than a work study job given by the school. Work study does count as having a job but he could probably have two jobs , spend more time studying or have more time to go out on dates if he wasn't busy with the games. Are the video games a priority or is having a girlfriend a priority? We kissed at the end of the date. Honestly, I felt no spark and it was awful. The guy didn't keep his lips relaxed enough for me so it was difficult to kiss him.  He said that he liked the kiss but I didn't want no more parts of that. I just wasn't into it. I think my kisses can be very playful and sexual so it doesn't shock me. I've been kissing boys since I was thirteen so the experience adds up as grown up. I just wasn't feeling him on this date. I wanted to be into him but it just wasn't working. I feel like I tried to let him down easy and the best way possible. He just doesn't listen probably have to reestablish boundaries again.

Bro, are you her boyfriend or her pen pal?

When I hear about these long distances relationships and those couples who never see each other I just think PEN PAL! If you don't find a way to see each other its not going anywhere fast. Can we be adults and be honest with ourselves? I don't understand how these teens can say yes I have a boyfriend! There's something to be said for face to face contact. Couples in this high -tec world need to remove the emails, texts, IMs and close the distance. We can't depend on technology to keep feeding our relationships. If anything technology is putting a strain on our love connections. I miss the eye contact, voice inflection and tone with the written word.
P.S - Ladies, don't ever start a texting fight with your man! Please trust me on this!

How To Get Through A BreakUp

1.  Be honest - Don't ignore the person who is trying to talk to you! Ignoring someone is only going to make the situation worse I promise you. If the issues at hand aren't being the handled then an even bigger fight is bound to happen. Don't leave the person you are breaking up with in a "grey" area. It's just not right. Karma is a bitch & doesn't discrimate.

2. Don't say let's be friends if you honestly want a friendship - This is the go to line for people these days! People always say were better off as friends. No I've used that line before & that's code for your a nice guy but I'm not interested anymore. Let's part ways. If I see you in the street I'll act like a good friend & like I wanna hang out - in reality I want to be left alone forever. Understand me?

3. Don't answer your phone- It's okay for you to declare yourself some me time! Go get your nails or hair done. Pamper yourself or go hang out with your friends! Anything to help yourself feel more relaxed.

4. Break up in a public place - Depending on the serious nature of the relationship do it in person! You owe it to the person your breaking up with at least a meeting in person! Try to not do it over text messaging or IM unless you feel like thats your only option of getting away!

5. Listen to your heart - You know when a relationship isn't working out long before it even happens to fall apart. There are red flags all over the place. For me it's certain things people say that tip me off long before.

P.S - This phase doesn't last forever but it will feel like a long time before you feel like yourself again. Honestly, being single is awesome ;) Hang in there buddy!