Advice Worth Listening To ?

I think the best thing we can do for ourselves is not to ask everyone what they would do in our relationship situation. If someone is alone and they haven't had a date in years then is that advice valid? Maybe were asking all the wrong people to solve our problems . I find that I can talk through my problems with my friends but it only helps so much. It's like talking about a problem could only make it worse. I think deep down people know what they need to do. The right answers are written on the inside of us. There's no shame at all in needing help. However, people and situations can completely change and shock you. Nothing is the same way it was five minutes ago. Who should we listen to? Who knows us the best? Who has your best interests at heart and steer you in the right direction? I feel so strongly about this and I just feel like not everyone is qualified to give people relationship advice.

My Romance V

The hardest part about ending a relationship or a friendship is how to explain what happened to the people you love. How do you move on when you have resentment in your heart? How can you heal when you feel like you have nothing left? I walked around my hometown for the whole day distraught not in my right mind. The memories of "J" and I kissing in bed flashed in my mind. The separation from him cut me deeper than the sharpest knife. I felt like the one person who was suppose to understand me and protect me had betrayed me for his own lust. I heard his voice in my mind apologizing on the phone as I walked with tears falling down my face. I'm sorry wasn't good enough. I'm sorry wasn't cutting it. How could he? But it made me realize that a casual relationship could never ever be enough for me. 

My Romance IV

I woke up feeling so elated. I remembered when he told me I was the only woman he actually liked cuddling . His arms were wrapped around me when I woke up. He was still sleeping soundly and snoring slightly. My little heart was singing a happy song. I felt nothing but love! Or was it all an allusion my mind had created to justify what I done? Even though, we spent much of our time together he wasn't my boyfriend. After we kissed and made out we had agreed we were more than friends. But agreeing to be more than friends just wasn't enough for me honestly! If you agreed to be more than friends than does that give you a friends with benefits status? If you like someone and you have slept with them then what is problem with starting a relationship? Technically, that process is backwards the relationship ideally would come first! This battle of questions and ethics was battering my mental energy. I knew on the inside that I deserved better. I deserved someone who wouldn't make me wait for them. Suddenly, my romance didn't seem so romantic after all....it took me two weeks for the magic our physical encounter to wear off. I texted him , " It's important I need to talk to you". He knew I never made statements like that without being completely serious. He called me as soon as he got a free second. He knew it was time to face the music. That marvelous ride we had been on was about to get to complicated seriously fast. I wanted a relationship. I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted someone who would have my back ultimately he wasn't up for that challenge. He wasn't on the same page as me after having his heart broken by his almost fiancee who cheated on him. But why make me suffer when the woman before me did those unspeakable things not me? I had to let it go because the whole situation was killing me slowly and draining me. It didn't make sense to invest my time and energy into someone who didn't care about seeing that my needs were met. It was a painful lesson to learn and I hope that you all learn my mistakes. I pray that you will never know the type of pain that I felt and was going through because it almost killed me. But I survived....

My Romance Part III

We sat next to each other on the couch. We had a bunch of DVDs lined up , blanket ready and food was warm and ready to go. Suddenly something started to happen that I couldn't explain. He kissed me so passionately and held me so tight. His hands were everywhere at once suddenly! His hands were in my hair, my face, my neck.... I'm not sure if I regret what happened next. I'll cut out the mechanics of it I know that I have some thirteen year olds reading this at home. If you can't guess what happened next then that means you aren't old enough to be reading this honestly ;) I didn't go home that night. When I woke up it was 2am and "J" was in a deep sleep. I decided I would face the consequences tomorrow.

My Romance II

That night changed everything for me. He picked me up from my house. I walked out the door in a tunic dress, leather jacket and knee high black boots. It was appropriate because the fall weather was all around us . When he saw me he immediately jumped out of the car. He couldn't contain his excitement. He grabbed my hand and he kissed me for a long time. Out on the street, just like that not caring who saw us or what happened next. It's one of the those moments  I'll always cherish because it was so fleeting but you feel so goddamn alive. The world melted away for a couple seconds. He had just gotten off work and hadn't had time to shower. His hair was in a cute adorable mess since his usual hat was gone. He was wearing a cropped white t-shirt, slightly loose work jeans streaked with white paint and timberland boots. We drove through the city on a Friday night shockingly the roads were clear. The flashing and glittering city lights and skyscrapers that passed us while we cranked up the radio. I was riding on a wave of complete euphoria when I look back it at all. He stopped at his favorite wings and ribs joint to pick up some take out for dinner. We arrived at his apartment around 8 :00 p.m. His apartment was a decent size. What struck me about his apartment was I could really tell he didn't have a woman in his life. I felt sadness for a moment. I mean the way a woman would keep a house is completely different than your average male. All the furniture and necessary things were there but it wasn't a whole lot of decorating decision making going on. We went back to the couch. He puts a movie on. The food is still sitting on the table....( check back for part III...)

My Romance Part I

 Last month, I met this guy we will call him "J". We met at an art gallery opening party through a friend of mine from college. We talked all night and had exchanged numbers by the end of it. I was so worried he wouldn't call me I nearly died. That crazy feeling of holding on to your phone so tight because you want it to ring. I remember the anticipation building up inside of me. We talked on the phone for a solid hour. Impressive? Maybe... he wanted to know when I could see him again. I had a volleyball match that Tuesday so I decided to invite him out. He came on time and even cheered me on. We went out to the bar with my team for drinks and they really liked what he added to the group. He held my hand and I felt like I could fly. He swapped seats with my one of my friends just so he could sit closer to me. He was so sweet. Then he volunteered to drive me home so I wouldn't have to take the train back. That should have been my first clue! This was the start of the trouble... I forget how he ended up on my side of the car (remember I'm on the passenger's side and hes giving me a lift home) . But imagine me hot and sweaty after a 
competitive volleyball game with sexy little short spandex on. I can't blame him. I'm not a vain person at all but I must have looked seriously hot for him to kiss me like that. I still play back and rewind that kiss in my head. It was sensual but polite his hands stayed on my waist no wandering. It was so pleasant and so unexpected. As you will hear the rest of the story I will be left wondering to this day why he kissed me like that. Those kisses weren't pecks either. They weren't long pecks either. There may have even been slight tongue involved but not much. He didn't press his luck by trying too much with that! I was caught up in the kiss. I realized I should go inside and I broke away from his lips. He whispered to me one more kiss. I gladly obliged and left him wanting more for the next weekend. That week passed me by in a happy wonderful blur. I was hanging out with new friends at school, studying hard and "J" called me every single night. How could I have anticipated that Friday night that changed my whole life. We were at his apartment its around 8 o'clock. I figure whatever going down it couldn't be more serious than pizza and a movie.... ( stay tuned for Part II coming out this week)

Felix's 30 Day Plan

This is an interesting theory for all of us trying to find a relationship out there. A close friend of mine gave me a suggestion for not getting hurt again ( will explain story in full detail later). What if you waited 30 days before you got intimate with your partner? I know it doesn't always happen like this were its planned out and structured. I mean if you have been talking to your crush for 30 days then I give you the green light!  Every situation is different of course. Abstience is an awesome choice for some. I respect that 100%. I don't want to knock on my fellow Christians but waiting for marriage isn't totally a realistic expectation anymore. Kids can't get away from sex! Thank you media and social networking (by the way that was a joke)! Sex is the most natural thing in the world. However, we are not animals and should never regard as ourselves as people who will lay down like dogs. There does need to be a price on sex so to speak. You are not a whore, slut or prostitute! The price has nothing to do with money. The price should be emotional stability, someone who takes care of your heart and who eventually becomes your boyfriend or girlfriend. Never give it up without a commitment of some sort! We get so caught up in the moment that we don't even think about it.